Why Are Disney Princesses Bad Role Models

Disney. It's a beloved family name. Everyone knows it and everyone grows up loving at least one of their movies. But what if it wasn't such a good idea for kids to watch Disney movies?

Now first off I want it to be known I am a DEVOUT Disney Lover so this essay is just me trying to write about something for fun. That being said...

Every girl wants to be a Princess at least ONCE in their lives (yes folks, even me.) We see girls like Ariel and Jasmine up on the screen and wish we could be them, lead their lives. However it's once we get older we think back (some of us at least) and wonder if we really would still want to be them. When I was a child I used to love the disney princess because they weren't like other girls. They weren't damsels in distress or silly, simpering strumpets (god I love alliteration) waiting for their princes. OR WERE THEY? Let's take a look.

 First up we have Ariel. Now at first glance Ariel seems to be something more. She isn't interested in being a princess. She just wants to explore and find out things. She wants MORE. Now even though she comes off as a courageous, bright girl who's only interest is in learning she isn't that girl. Not only does she forsake her whole "explorer" idea earlier on but she loses it for a MAN. She does everything in her power to get that man even SELL HER BODY. Yeah I said it because it's true. She pretty much sells herself to Ursula (well her voice anyway) Who is in fact a DRAG QUEEN. No really. Ursula was modeled after the famous drag queen Devine. Which means that Ursula is Ariel's pimp which makes her a whore.

"Ursula can you get me my man?I feel like I should come to you, the woman who is my father's SWORN ENEMY for this instead of trying to get a guy on my own."

"You got my money bitch? No? Well I'm taking something. Gimme your voice." (Seriously who the hell pays someone with their freaking voice? JESUS.)

And then guess what? THE GUY DOESN'T LIKE HER. I don't care what anyone says about this. I've seen the movie and I say that guy didn't like her.

In that dress I wouldn't like her as either. I mean god pink dress and red hair? WERE THEY COLORBLIND OR SOMETHING? I bet they were blinded after looking at that. Geez.

She was just a cute pet. Look he got in a god damn boat in this secluded MAGICAL place ALONE with her. The animals were singing (which in Disney is code for NOOKY TIME) and the moon was full and high, and I SWEAR TO GOD He was all like "hmm I wonder what's for dinner." No, look.

That is NOT the face of a guy in love. I don't care what you think. That is the face of a man who's wishing he hadn't given this girl the lead on. Which technically he didn't but god damn it that girl is desperate. I mean look at THIS:

WTF IS THIS?! SWEET CHRIST we are teaching our children to look like this. That is clearly Ariel's bedroom look (and if it is GOD HELP HER it needs work) but even after giving him that look HE STILL DOESN'T KISS HER. NO.

Now fast forward to the wedding. Ok blah blah he's hypnotized and what not Oh god someone save us all blah blah LOCKET SMASH. Now here's where I get mad. He doesn't praise Ariel for breaking his moments (life?) of STUPID. Instead he falls in love with her ON THE SPOT for her VOICE. And the stupid bint lets him. OH GOD I'TS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED! A superficial man that only wants me for my attributes! HOORAY!

MY GOD THE SPARKLES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PERSON DOING COSTUMES FOR THIS MOVIE? Why is no one freaked out about this?

Take that feminism. We're not going exploring anymore. No, fuck that noise. We're gonna get married at SIXTEEN and have a kid within a YEAR.

They just can't design dresses right for this movie. LOOK AT THE DAMN SLEEVES!! WHAT IS THAT MESS?!

At least ONE PERSON has some sanity in this movie. Look at that look on her father's face. Even he knows this shit is sick. Meanwhile her sisters whores 1 through 6 are so damn happy they don't have to put up with her crazy ass anymore they're about to implode with happiness.

Yea. Great role modeling Ariel. Nice lesson for the kids.

"Oh my god I'm such a whore..."

Now let's move onto another one. Belle. YES THAT'S RIGHT.
Belle used to be my favorite when I was younger because she READ THINGS. She didn't fall for the proverbial hottie Gaston (who personally seemed as hot as a pile of hot shit in my opinion) and she had SMARTS. OR DID SHE?

Now when we first get our glances at Belle she strolls through a town reading a book, singing IN KEY WITH OTHER TOWNSFOLK, and avoiding obstacles like water falling on her head and moving carts driven by crazy french people who have never heard of BRAKES. THAT IS TALENT.

Our general opinion of her when she sees Gaston is she thinks he's a tool and doesn't want to get married. Ok kinda cool. I dig the feminism approach. Got it. BUT THEN...SHE FALLS FOR A BEAST.

Now I'm gonna stop here and explain something to you guys. I know that Beauty and the Beast is SUPPOSED to be about a girl falling in love with a guy for who he is INSIDE and not looking on the outside and what not. Here's my problem with that. HE'S A TOTAL DICK INSIDE. No, really. This is the guy who was gonna let an OLD WOMAN FREEZE TO DEATH in one of France's COLD ASS WINTERS OF DEATH while he sat all snuggles in his STUPIDLY LARGE CASTLE.

Which brings me to another point. WHY THE FUCK IS HIS CASTLE SO BIG? My god do you realize he lives there BY HIMSELF with the exception of SERVANTS? WHERE ARE HIS PARENTS?! WTF IS GOING ON THERE?
Anyway. So she falls for the total dick and it's happy ending time.

"Let's dance the dance of stupid love!" (the reality is I LOVE this scene. Also did you know it's IMPOSSIBLE to find good Beauty and the Beast screenshots? WTF!)

And I know some of you are thinking that she CHANGES him in the end and he becomes a better person and for those of you that say that I would like to direct you to a lovely movie. It's the sequel to Beauty and the Beast and it's called the "Enchanted Christmas" or as I like to call it "HE DIDN'T LEARN A GOD DAMN THING!" Not only does the Beast go back to being EXACTLY as he was in the first movie, he almost kills Belle. No I'm not kidding. She almost freezes to death from STUPIDLY falling in an ice lake trying to get him a motherfucking tree for his UNDESERVED and UNWANTED Christmas and what does he do? LOCKS HER IN A GOD DAMN COLD, ASS DUNGEON.Apparently hypothermia is not a problem in France. So Belle marries a jerk and everyone's cool with it.

This is how the movie should have ended.

..............yea I scare me too.

Moving on to the next girl. Now this one I'm conflicted about. Esmerelda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Now Esmerelda is sometimes my favorite Disney chick and sometimes she's not. At first glance she seems to be a GREAT role model for girls. She's anti authority, she doesn't dress like a whore, and she is actually a kind and caring being. I remember the first time I saw that movie I was amazed at the cruel treatment of Quasimodo. I mean I read the original novel but somehow seeing it animated on my tv in Disney style made it much worse. I mean this movie SANG TO YOU and then pretty much ended the song by kicking you in the balls. Let me just take the time here to lead you through the opening of this movie to prove my point.

Ok so we start out with this cute little jester guy pracing about singing to the kids. Aww it's so cute. Oh look he's putting on a puppet show

....wait...what's he singing about? Monsters?....ok little odd but whatever it's still bright and colorful and the kids are enjoying it.

Puppets, puppets, puppets, MURDER.

I'm serious. The movie is just like that. It's a cute puppet show that cuts to this horrible scene of total oppression and then HEARTLESS MURDER. On church steps.

....................

To be that honest I'm not surprised by ANYHTING this guy does by the end of the movie. I mean look at these screenshots.

MY GOD. What is he doing to that pole?! JESUS.

SWEET CHRIST. HE'S DARING YOU TO LOOK!

THEY LET THIS MAN AROUND THEIR CHILDREN!!!

"What kid? I swear I never touched her officer!"

Don't you just love Disney? I realize now I got a we bit off topic. Sorry for that.

Anyway....

I mean there you have these happy people dancing about in bright colors and it's like YAY a FESTIVAL. JOYOUS RAPTURE. WHAT FUN TIMES ARE AHEAD! EQUALITY FOR ALL!!

AND THEN THE TOMATOES START FLYING.

"TASTE MY PRODUCED HATRED!!"

SPLAT! You hear that? That's the sound of children all the world crying from the injustice of it all and somewhere far away Michael Moore is scratching himself and preparing to make another film.

I swear I don't know what is wrong with French people in Disney movies but DAMN.

So yea. Then we see Esmerelda who had JUST RECENTLY did a POLE DANCE (continued below)

(note the purple and red color scheme. Can you say WHORE OF BABYLON?! That's right. I knew you could.)

You are so barking up the wrong tree honey. Unless your small, male, and singing soprano in a choir you ain't got what he wants.

(cont.) for the crowd get up and basically spit in the eyes of injustice.

Why is she the only one in that whole damn town to not be COMEPLETELY HEARTLESS?! WTF IS WRONG WITH PARIS?!

"FUCK YOUR CHURCH!!!!!"

Which is cool. But do you see where my dilemna comes in? She pole dances....and the becomes an anarchist. WTF. And in the end she still falls for the wooden headed soldier. I'm sorry but that's just not right. It's like Quasimodo loves me but this guy is ripped. And blonde. And he has a horse or SOME OTHER SHIT. Quasimodo can fucking climb towers. TOWERS. That man was swings around 5,000 fucking feet over the ground and SINGS. That is awesome.

And what does Phoebus do?

GETS LOST IN HIS OWN HOMETOWN. WTF MAN?

So in the end she marries wooden headed soldier man and has a blonde wooden headed little rugrat that ultimately fucks everyone over in movie 2 with NEVER ENDING WHINING AND CURIOSITY.

Congrats Esme. You SOLD OUT. Then again what do you expect from a woman who thought to get PITY from the CATHOLIC CHURCH.

Emse: Dude free my people!!
Priest: I'm too busy getting blown by this underage child. (Silver takes this time to apologize to any Catholic readers here but honestly your asking for it.)

I mean seriously. The only thing I really admire about her character is that she fought the Catholic church so hard she almost got burned at the stake. BURNED AT THE FUCKING STAKE. She even spit in Frollo's eye when he told her she could still be saved by him. Which is cool. Although as far as comebacks go I think he beat her when he set fire to her PERSON.

I think every child who saw this movie looked like this afterwards...

"Dude...did we learn something? I can't tell."

NEXT TIME: The GOOD role models in Disney. We take a look at girls like Mulan, Megara, and Kiara (Yes, Simba's daughter)

Why Are Disney Princesses Bad Role Models

Source: https://malea-st.livejournal.com/16739.html

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